Today’s not an ordinary day. I seem to be having trouble remembering it even though I need to do just that for just about every conscious minute between now and bedtime. Or rather every minute starting in about an hour, which is when I commence ingesting only protein in preparation for tomorrow morning’s PET scan. The list of approved foods is very short next to the no-nos, which contain many of the things that make up my customary grazing habits, and while thinking twice about what passes my lips isn’t necessarily arduous it’s also… well, not ordinary.
Still there’s a lot of incentive to not get careless. As in, besides the simple fact that a PET is something you don’t want to do over if you don’t have to. It takes a big chunk out of the day and it’s expensive and it’s uncomfortable even if you’re not prone to claustrophobia, and of course it’s just the beginning of that particular scan-xiety cycle, which only ends (you hope) on seeing the doctor to have the results interpreted. This time, a week from tomorrow for my three-month checkup. A friggin’ week! That’s the main reason to observe the dietary restrictions: I want this bugger over with. Even in remission, cancer entails plenty of waiting without adding to it yourself.
In any case at the moment I’m finishing up lunch: a leftover Chipotle half-burrito along with gummi peaches from the Berkeley Bowl bought on impulse when I restocked on cottage cheese and frozen soybeans for tonight. All things considered it tastes pretty good. Food often does when you take time to appreciate what you’re eating, and then in turn to appreciate why you’re appreciating that.
Slowing down a little to think about this, along with the rest of the day, is very much a good idea since this is my first full day home after a two-week whirlwind of travel and housesitting. During this stretch I’ve done the laundry and kept well-fed and met most of my commitments and had some fun too including a day-long family visit last week. All while accomplishing little else except staying some approximation of well-rested, which has proved the same challenge it generally has in the two-plus years since diagnosis, and while I’d like today to rest too there’s just too much to catch up on. (In that way at least it’s something like an ordinary day.) I’m setting tomorrow aside for relaxation once the scan’s over though. That’ll have to do.
Because the oncologist’s order for the scan got held up, tomorrow morning was the only time left on the lab’s schedule. That means I’ll miss my cancer support group this week, and next week too due to the oncology checkup. Missed both earlier meetings this month as well from scheduling issues. Not too happy about July in this sense; even if I only go every other week the discussions are a lifeline to me. When you have cancer – and again, even in remission – the people you want to talk to most are others who have it. It takes a lot of the stress off. Especially when you’re facing a scan and then checkup in the immediate future.
Dammit. I really want this to be an ordinary day, and I’m not referring just to my meal plan.
(Photo: one of the places I house-sat. Good for a much-needed laugh today.)
(Republished from my personal Facebook account)